Why!
by BlackRoseAngel7172
Summary: sorta angsty and sad story. Basically Raven is fed up with everything and does something. Beast Boy wants to know 'why? really needed to get this story out, cause this is how i deal with me sorta not really depression and anger. Oneshot. BBxRae. Warning. suicide attempt


Hi guys. i know i should be working on my other story but i needed to write this. as some of you know i have been really upset and sorta depressed over some family issues for the past few days, and I've been thinking about this oneshot. Don't worry, although i may be depressed i wont resort to some other obscenely measures like one seen in the story. that's what writing and drawing is for.

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Raven's POV

I was outside of the tower, sitting where the rocks meet the shore. I wasn't reading like I had told everyone I was doing. I was thinking. These past few weeks most of my friends, Starfire included, seemed to distance away from me. It was almost like they didn't care about me. Just yesterday Cyborg blew up in my face because I asked him to turn the T-car stereo down.

Of course this isn't the first time people have acted like this towards me. It happens almost everywhere I go. Sometimes I wondered what would happen id I were to just disappear. Would anybody miss me? Would anybody wonder where I had gone? Staring at the ocean before me, I realized I had tears rolling down my face. Many believe that I can't show any emotion. But that's not true, it's just that I'm afraid to get hurt.

But I've already been hurt, many times. And I had finally had enough. The ocean was so calm and peaceful. Not a wave or roll to be seen. I knew what I wanted to do, and now would be the only time to do it. No note, no real reason except that I had had enough. I took off my cloak and sat it on the ground, my boots and belt following. I walked down to the edge of the water, testing it with my toe. The water was warm, almost like bath water. I slowly walked in further until the water was up to my chest. And then, I swam under. Further and further down, never wanting to come back up for air. Wanting to just leave this world and enter the next.

Many say that besides in their sleep, drowning is the best way to die. They're right. It's peaceful, slow, and you hardly know it's happening. I closed my eyes, allowing the water to swallow me as I let out my breath. This was it, no turning back. But the truth was, I didn't want to turn back. I had thought that I would be afraid. But I'm not. I'm accepting of it. I went limp as my lungs begged for air. I saw nothing except a dark, black abyss. Then….nothing.

BeastBoy's POV

I was in the common room alone. Everybody was doing their own thing. Robin was training in the gym, Starfire had traveled to the 'mall of shopping'. Cyborg was down in the garage working on his so called 'baby' and Raven…I don't know what she was doing. She was probably in her room reading like she always is. I don't know what she sees in it. I think reading is just a big waste of time. Leaving the thought behind me, I walked over to the giant window and looked down.

Raven was sitting on the rocks, just staring at the ocean. My highly trained animal senses allowed me to see that she was crying.

"Why would she be crying? She's not hurt is she?"

I watched as Raven stood up and took off her cape, boots, and belt and walked into the water. I watched as she went under and waited for her to come back up, but she didn't. I finally realized what she was doing, but did I realize too late? I ran down to the shore and jumped into the water, changing into a dolphin. I quickly found Raven. She was already unconscious and sinking down further into the water. I swam to her, and tried to grab her. I would have to change back into a human to be able to carry her.

I changed back into my regular self and grabbed her around her waist with my right arm and began to swim toward the surface. I reached the shore as quickly as I could and carried Raven to dry land. I laid her down, becoming more and more frightened with every second. Her lips had turned blue, even though the water wasn't cold. I put my head to her chest and listened. No heart beat. I put my ear to her mouth. No breath. I began doing CPR on her, trying to revive her.

After about two minutes of chest compressions I heard her cough. She opened her eyes a little bit and closed them again. I put my arm behind her back to support her while she sat up, and waited for her to do something. To speak, to look at me. I couldn't take it anymore. All she did was just stare at the ground, not making any effort to do anything.

"Why? Why would you do that Raven! Is your life with us really that horrible? Is living with us so terrible that you felt you had to do something to change that?!"

She looked at me, tears rushing down her face. All at once she grabbed my shirt with her fists and began bawling into my chest.

"I'm so-sorry Beast Boy! I-It's not what you th-think. I'm so tired of everything! My wh-whole life has been nothing but a disaster. And before this we-week I didn't realize how much I was hated by everybody. I thought I was doing everybody a favor by making myself disappear!"

By this time her sobs had slowed down and she could control her breathing a bit better. But she was still holding onto my shirt. I tried to process what she had just said and realized that she was right. Everybody seemed to dislike her just because she was different. She's had to put up with that for 17 years. I instantly wrapped my arms around her, embracing her in a hug.

"I'm so sorry Raven. I never knew that you felt this depressed. I, we never knew you were treated this badly. You've had to deal with this for 17 years, had to put up with everyone's attitudes and remarks. And every time me, or one of the other titans put you down, we were just making every little cut deeper. Im so sorry Raven."

I looked her and she smirked.

"Thank you Beast Boy. I never really thought that maybe some people would see past my differences. I've been looking at all of the negative things people have done or said to me, when really there are so many good and positive things that my friends, my family have done for me." Raven wrapped her arms around my neck, in a loose hug before saying.

"And there are so many more good things to come."

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The end. first really angsty sorta story. it may be weird but i seem to think about death and stuff like that a lot. Call me crazy and say i need to be put in a straight-jacket. but i dont really care. that's me. Anyways I'll be updating 'The Gem' sometime this week for you. k? See ya's!


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